Trust's Evil Nemesis

Man, have I had my share of experiences regarding trust and the claws of its evil nemesis. Betrayal is an ugly beast, but let’s find out why betrayal even happens.

The one thing I have always been good at is detecting betrayal and lies. I guess you could say I have a strong 6th sense. I literally get the ‘knot in the stomach’ when I sense it. And trust is the one thing that, if it gets messed with, it will take a lot to gain it back with me.

I just really don’t understand how someone does something that would indeed hurt another’s feelings, yet they do it anyways, and think that not being honest and keeping the truth from them will just erase the bad or make mistakes go away.

Why do people even do or say things that would hurt another’s feelings in the first place? Obviously, some sort of momentarily lapse of sanity, but why? It has to be something on their mind that bothers them, yet they haven’t come to terms with it. They pushed the issue to the side instead of tackling it head-on, and what happens is they make poor judgement calls. Then, of course, they regret it later- that is, if they realized they made a booboo.

Today it seems as though humanity has lost site of its roots- the phrase ‘do unto other as you wish done unto you’ has faded away and society has replaced it with selfish habits. 

Nowadays there are more things exposed and readily available for our disposal to become transformed into someone we’re not. Sometimes, when someone is unhappy, they feel like they can’t express themselves without being heard and respected or they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. They then reach for what they think will make it all better- drugs, alcohol, another lover, gambling…but to be able to cover up their vices, they begin to lie. Lie about what they are doing and not doing, how they feel, and even about who they really are. They end up growing different masks around different crowds. Pretty soon they are consumed in their own lies, and have to develop new lies to cover the old ones.

Unfortunately, in this present day, we just don’t know who to trust. Politicians, religious leaders, child care providers, sports coaches, and others in authoritative and leadership positions have dirty little secrets popping up like weeds. From strangers to even our own flesh and blood- betrayal is amongst us all. It feels as though, since we are saturated with the media portraying to us that it’s just a way of life, we will never be a somewhat wholesome species again. I can’t even imagine TV and movies getting any worse, but I’m sure someone will find a way to brainwash us into thinking that betrayal is okay. Even if someone were to see something that they scoff at, it can subconsciously implant message upon message until they think that there is no other solution but to do what they’ve seen done. They only think of the good things that come out of it- which is only temporary euphoria.

I think what I am getting at here is that when someone develops an addiction- of any kind- it will lead to betrayal. They will end up doing and saying things that they really don’t mean. They have to lie to cover their damage. They put themselves and usually others in jeopardy. They become extremely hopeless and selfish. And they become so oblivious to reality that their little fantasy world of addiction becomes their reality. Sadly, the only thing that will break the habit is a good wake up call. The more severe the addiction, the more selfish, and buried from reality, they become.

Now, not all addictions last. Some can be just a temporary rush, sort of like an experimental addiction. And some people realize quick enough that it isn’t the best route for them, and they catch themselves (or get caught) before it’s too late. Like snapping out of a trance. We all get lost at some point and make poor choices just for the simple act of selfishness, right? So, then, can you think of a person who has betrayed and lied to you who hasn’t had some sort of addiction (i.e. selfish motive with a poor choice)? Now, can you think of a person who has betrayed and lied to you who didn’t have any problems in their life?

To sum it up, betrayal begins when someone gives up being strong about an issue in their life that they don’t want to face, they bury their feelings, they hook onto something or someone that only enables them, which leads to hiding the vice they are hooked on because deep down they do feel guilty, but think that it’s too late to turn around, thus becoming destructive to themselves and others.

So, remember that it’s not the person that is bad, but that the choices they have made have consumed them into someone they are not. If you were to look at it at a religious angle, I guess you could say it’s the devil taking control. However perceived, betrayal is not who we are, but that it can take us over.

transferred - original post 05.18.2011